Treasures from the Abyss

I've recently been cleaning out my room, a task that sorely needs to be done. Naturally, I found some wonderful gems, some nostalgic, some hilarious, and some straight up baffling as to where they came from or how they found their way into my room. They include some of the following:

This classy sweatshirt and scarf combo

A time capsule accurately predicting my career path, even though I didn't know what I wanted to do until my  freshman year of college

an inflatable graduate monkey

A toe ring and ankle bracelet (or an "anklet," as I would affectionately refer to it as)

an old baby toy

A certificate for "direct thinking"-- some things never change I guess

Some seriously 90s shorts

3 yo-yos even though I could never really yo-yo-- again, a 90s kid

A Lakers pin, despite never having liked the Lakers

An unsent secret admirer note

A half-completed cross stitch of "Home is where the cat is"

A neon green quill pen

A Jacob Black blanket--my mom thinks she's funny

Now here's where it gets good:

A can of beans, a spoon, and a roll of toilet paper in a disney princess bike pouch

This diaper...

with chocolate inside!

I can only attribute these to Vienna Ward white elephants, because I can't think of another place I could get something so weird.

Last, and probably my favorite, this classic kids book:

Apparently my love for hilarious cat pictures started way before lolcats.

Plato's Cave of Mexican Food

I wish I had a cave of Mexican food. But that's not the point.

If you've ever studied any philosophy, chances are you've probably heard Plato's Allegory of the Cave. It goes a little something like this:
(If you know this, feel free to skip the green part.)

There are prisoners in a cave. They have never seen the light of day, each other, anything--the only thing they are able to look at are the shadows on the walls, which they believe is real life (for example, they understand a 'tree' to only be the shadow of the tree). One day, a prisoner escapes. Dazzled by the light, he at first can only look at shadows and reflections. He is then finally able to see the real objects themselves, and understands that they are far more real than the shadows he has been looking at. Finally, his eyes adjust enough that he is able to look at the sun, and understands that the sun is the reason for everything around him--the light, the trees, and his capacity for sight. The sun represents the ultimate form of The Good. Excited by this, he returns to the cave to tell the other prisoners about his discoveries. Unable to understand or believe him, they try to kill him.


So you've probably asked yourself by now:

What does this have to do with Mexican food?

Here it is:

The cave is Chipotle, or any other Mexican food you think is good. It's good food when it's the only thing you know. Everyone in my hometown is obsessed with Chipotle, but I was never satisfied. Was this the best thing Mexican food had to offer? I longed to escape the cave.

One day during my freshman year of college, my friends brought me to Cafe Rio. So began my escape. I saw the colorful atmosphere and fun facts on the walls. Shadows and reflections. Then I saw the homemade tortillas, the fresh ingredients, and the lime-cilantro sauce. The trees, the flowers, the animals. 

Then the Sweet Pork. The Sun. 

Enlightenment. Pure Deliciousness. THE GOOD. The so, so, SO good. The ultimate Mexican food form of The Good. Life in the cave, i.e. Chipotle, will never be the same.

Fast forward two years. Cafe Rio sets up shop near my hometown. I begin to spread the great, enlightening news. But instead of the excitement I expect, I hear anger, denial. Nothing can be better than Chipotle, they say. They refuse to try it, and instead want to kill me.

Coincidence? I think not. 

Plato knew what he was talking about.

Belgian Waffles = The One That Got Away

If you've spoken to me in the last week, chances are you've heard about Saturday, 26 November 2011, my incredible and never-to-be-repeated day of FOOD PERFECTION. Everything I ate was insanely delicious--quite easily the best of each food I've ever eaten or ever will eat in my life.  I kid you not, this was the closest there will ever be to Food Nirvana. This day of Food Perfection was brought to you by:

Belgium

Last weekend I got an almost-free trip to Brussels for training at the EU, sponsored by the Scottish National Party. (Just one more reason Scotland is great.) Belgium's a nice place, though there's not much to see. The food, however, makes it all worth it. Here's how my day of absolute Food Perfection went down.

10:00- Wake up, because I'm on vacation baby.

11:15- Food perfection begins. 

If you see this sign, STOP. This place is your friend.

On the way to the train station we stopped at a little bakery called Lowy and picked up my first Belgian waffle. Now you may be thinking to yourself, as I was, "what's so special about Belgian waffles? I can just make these in my waffle maker at home." If you're thinking that, you're absolutely wrong.

So I get this waffle, and it's a little hard and there's nothing on it. Naturally, I expect it to be kind of bland and possibly tough. Boy was I wrong. I take a bite into this thing, and my mouth is in absolute ecstasy. The hard exterior has a nice crunch, and the inside basically melts in my mouth. But wait, there's more! Inside of the waffle are small sugar crystals that sweeten it just the right amount to give it flavour without being overpowering. My mouth could not believe that something this great was going on inside of it.

2:00- Arrive in Bruges, an adorable Flemish town. Spend the afternoon in the Christmas market. Experience Parts 2, 3, and 4 of Food Perfection.

My crazy travel buddies. In Bruges.

Part 2- A Bratwurst from a stand in the Christmas market with carmelised onions on top. Not only were the onions divine, but when I bit into the casing on the bratwurst, the inside literally fell apart in my mouth in an aromatic swirl of spices and insanely tender meat. SO. GOOD.

Part 3- Bought a cup of hot chocolate. Easily the best cup of hot chocolate I've ever had-- creamy, frothy, Belgian chocolate, enough said.

Part 4- Another Belgian waffle, because one clearly wasn't enough. There were no sugar crystals inside, but it was topped in strawberries and chocolate, and the waffle melted in my mouth. Divine. 

If you couldn't tell, I'm kind of obsessed with Belgian Waffles. Maybe I ate 4 in less than 48 hours, maybe I didn't, but when it's that delicious it can't be bad for me, right? It's okay to fall madly in love when you're on holiday in a foreign country, even if food is the object of your affection. I don't see anything wrong with that.

FOOD PERFECTION COMPLETE.

I can now die in peace.

The only other food or drink I had that day was a bottle of Disney's Happy Kids sparkling apple juice given to me as a joke by friend and intern wannabe, Paul, who finds my non-alcoholic ways strange and amusing. Maybe not perfection, but still a tasty and entertaining gesture.

This isn't Paul-- this is Iain, my pal and de facto Belgium mom since he was the only one who had a clue where he was going.

This is Paul.

And this basically sums up the rest of Belgium.