Harry Potter + Scotland + Me = This is really unhealthy...

Some awesome Scottish people: Ewan McGregor, Gerard Butler, Sean Connery, The Proclaimers, Scottie (as in “Beam me up”), Adam Smith, David Hume, Robert Louis Stevenson, Robert Burns.

Some awesome people who’ve lived in Scotland: Alisse Frandsen, Jesse Smith, Ann Vom Lehn, Kevin Calderwood (my former Stake President), Jaren Hinckley (Greatest Music 101 Professor EVER), President Cecil O. Samuelson, and last but most certainly not least...can I get a drumroll please: 

J. K. Rowling!

Reason 58,204,819,304 why Scotland, and more specifically Edinburgh, is awesome—IT INSPIRED HARRY POTTER.

Initiate brain explosion from sheer awesomeness.

So naturally, as quite possibly the biggest Harry Potter fan ever to exist, one of the first things I did when I got here was see the Harry Potter sights.

Oh hiya, Tom Riddle’s grave! Real father and son pair!

That's right Voldemort, you were already dead before you were thought up. NO CHANCE. Maybe you should've stopped by Edinburgh before you created all those horcruxes. Serves you right for underestimating Muggles.

And here's some more Harry Potter-inspiring graves!

William McGonagall--the worst poet in the history of Scotland (according to the tour we briefly bummed off of) inspired the coolest professor ever. At least he was good for something.

Elizabeth Moodie, namesake of Alastor Moody, more commonly known as Mad-Eye Moody. SO COOL.

So JK took some liberties with the spellings, but that’s OK…they fit the characters better anyway.

Also, within the graveyard lies one of the most haunted places in Edinburgh, haunted by the Mackenzie Poltergeist, who I'm betting inspired Peeves the Poltergeist.

AND St. Mungo exists, the namesake of St. Mungo's Hospital for Magical Maladies and Injuries. I found a St. Mungo's Parish Church today when I was researching churches in our constituency for work.

But that’s not all!

Behold! Hogwarts!

This school was founded by a super-rich guy for orphans to get free education. Not only did its 4 towers inspire the Four Hogwarts Houses, but it’s historical association with orphans inspired JK Rowling to make Harry an orphan, perhaps the single greatest driving force behind his character and his immense love. SO. COOL.

And last, but not least, I ate lunch at the little restaurant where JK Rowling began creating and writing Harry Potter—on napkins.

This is Alix, one of my intern friends and fellow obsessee.

MERLIN’S. PANTS. MUST. STOP. HYPERVENTILATING. NOW.

Sleepy Carla & Snape's Fool-Proof Remedy for Insomnia

I've come to the realization that Sleep-Deprived Audrey is not the same person as Well-Rested Audrey.

And I'm not the only one who struggles with ridiculous-when-tired alter-egos. Comedian Mike Birbiglia's is dubbed Sleepy Carl:

When I'm sleep-deprived, my "Sleepy Carla" comes out at night and around meal times, most frequently in the form of insane and completely irrational impulses that, if you're lucky, get restrained. They include, but are not limited to:

• karate-chopping the nearest person in the stomach
• crushing potato chip bags
• somersaulting across the floor
• grabbing the hand of any or all males within a 10-foot radius, despite said hands' owners
• licking tables in public places

These impulses are often sudden and fleeting--like a lightening bolt, they strike unexpectedly, then leave before I have time to think through the consequences, sometimes for better, sometimes for worse.

Sleepy Carla's mania does not restrain herself to social situations, but often plagues my thought processes. For example, when I'm Sleepy Carla, they turn vocal. I talk to myself, laugh at things I say to myself (At least someone thinks I'm funny, anyway), and yell at inanimate objects when they don't do my bidding. This can be enacted in private or with other people around--Sleepy Carla doesn't care. Sleepy Carla has no shame.

Sleepy Carla's worst brain befuddlement, however, comes right as my head hits the pillow. See, Well-Rested Audrey puts her brain into screensaver mode during the day--it's there if I need it, but otherwise it'll be flashing pretty pictures or drawing a blank. Sleepy Carla, on the other hand, decides that the best time to jiggle the mouse on my brain is when Well-Rested Audrey wants it to switch into "hibernate" mode. As a result of this inner conflict, my mental processes at night are sub-par at best: my brain gets nothing accomplished while keeping me up for hours while running through never-ending cycles of thought that generally go something like this:

As excited as I am to go to Scotland right now, I kind of want to punch Sleepy Carla in the face.

But a few weeks ago, I had a stroke of inspiration:

Occlumency.

That's right. The obscure branch of magic that Professor Snape attempts to teach Harry Potter in The Order of the Phoenix is going to help me solve my muggle problems.

Snape tells Harry to empty his mind every night before he goes to sleep to keep his dreaming on the DL and to shut out Voldemort brain intrusions. So what if it doesn't work for Harry? It works for Snape. And if it can work for Snape, why can't it work for me? I don't even need to keep the most powerful Dark Wizard to ever exist out of my head, I just need to keep the nut-job that is Sleepy Carla out long enough to fall asleep.

Makes sense, right? And sometimes Occlumency actually works! But apparently I am more like Harry and less like Snape than I thought, because this is usually what ends up happening:

Curse you, Sleepy Carla.

P.S. If you think I'm really weird after reading this, a) you're right, and b) note the time-stamp c) note the time stamp is 3 hours behind reality, and 4) you'll know who's really behind this post.

Logic, Love, and Lupin

In case you couldn't tell by my facebook page the last week or so, I'm really excited for Harry Potter 7 Part 2 at midnight on Thursday night. So today's post is dedicated to my favorite character (if I were forced to pick one):

Remus Lupin.

Don't get my wrong. I love Sirius. He has that bad boy streak mixed with a clear understanding of good and evil and a fierce loyalty to his friends. How can you not love Sirius?

But Lupin has always been my favorite. And here's why:

1) Lupin is the first of James's friends that Harry meets. Harry learns a lot about his parents from him, and he's Harry's first real father figure.

2) He's the only one who seems to be able to successfully reprimand Harry for anything and make him feel   bad about it. For example:

"I cannot make you take Sirius Black seriously. But I would have thought that what you have heard when the Dementors draw near you would have had more of an effect on you. Your parents gave their lives to keep you alive, Harry. A poor way to repay them--gambling their sacrifice for a bag of magic tricks." ("Snape's Grudge," The Prisoner of Azkaban)

Don't feel so good about yourself now, do you Harry?

3) Lupin is always so level-headed and rational, but in a loving way. He doesn't let Sirius kill Pettigrew without first explaining why, therefore getting Harry on their side. He convinces Harry not to judge his dad by his 15 year-old self, because it's an unkind time to judge someone for. And he resists Tonks' advances because he a) thinks she deserves better, b) thinks he's too dangerous to live with, and c) fears passing on the curse of being a werewolf to any kids.

4) Because he's so rational, Lupin is slow to anger and easy to forgive. He neither likes nor dislikes Snape. There's too much history for them to be friends, but Lupin appreciates Snape for giving him the wolfsbane potion every month while he worked at Hogwarts.

5) Even though he's so rational, he puts his complete trust in Dumbledore. He doesn't know why Dumbledore trusts Snape, but he trusts Dumbledore enough to trust Snape. Insert religious metaphor here.

6) He's a werewolf. That's pretty legit. 2L2Q.

7) He marries Tonks. Tonks is awesome. And he lets her have the final choice on that decision.

They're like the wizarding world's equivalent of a hot indie couple.

8) His story is tragically beautiful. A great man, shunned by society for his terrible condition unwillingly inflicted upon him, makes great friends who are able to see past that. (According to JK Rowling, Lupin is representative of the disabled, interestingly enough.) Shaped by his own pain (physical, emotional, etc), he empathizes with others' and is therefore very kind. He finally finds love (*SPOILER ALERT*) and briefly experiences the joy of parenthood, but his life is taken prematurely in the fray of a fight for the ultimate triumph of good over evil, leaving his son to grow up parent-less, but in a better and safer world.

What's not to love? The guy's awesome! I aspire to one day be as cool as him. But that probably won't happen, because it might be impossible for anyone to be as cool as he is. Oh well. A girl can dream, right?